Follow-up

It seems that my latest post sparked a widespread paranoia.  “Widespread” being, of course, a very generous description.  All five of you who read this blog can be assured that I have probably spoken to each and every one of you in this way.  I consider each of you a victim.  But this conversation really is based on one I had recently.  I think it’s too bad that I’ve done this so often that you all feel sure it was you.

While we’re at it, my posts about email etiquette have actually made me kind of paranoid.  I can’t write emails to any of you now without worrying that you will reply like this:

Hey Juliana,

I noticed you greeted me like that in your last email.  You’re slipping.

Thanks!

~Whatserface.

It will make me feel better to mention that any sweeping generalizations I make about the way I address or sign emails are just sweeping generalizations, meant to give me a better position from which to criticize, and of course, to entertain.  You cannot assume that anything I write, about my behavior or about anything else, is true or even only slightly exaggerated.  I don’t even believe in slight exaggeration.  If I exaggerate, I do so to such an extent that it is no longer clear, even to me, what actually happened.  This is how I can get away with saying ridiculous things like, “Nothing’s new with me,” and not understand why no one will believe it.